The writers of this film should be ashamed of themselves.
The people who greenlit this project before they had a decent script should be ashamed of themselves.
The entire X-Men franchise should be ashamed to be associated with this garbage movie.
Grades are as follows.
** SPOILERS **
Hugh Jackman as Wolverine: A+
Hugh Jackman is so perfect in this role, it's a little scary. He has the body for it. He has the charisma for it. And he taps into the ferocity of Wolverine in a way that gives me shivers (the good kind).
Liev Schreiber as Sabertooth: B
Nothing to complain about here. Nothing to write home about either.
Patrick Stewart cameo: A
I'm a fan of Patrick Stewart, and I think he makes an excellent Professor X.
Professor Xavier WALKING: F, as in W.T.?
Battles between Wolverine and Sabertooth: A
As I mentioned before, I love the unbridled ferociousness Hugh Jackman brings to the role of Wolverine, so an opportunity to see Wolverine take on another beastial opponent is pretty fun, even if the story surrounding those fights makes very little sense.
Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool: Surprisingly, A
[Note from the Future: I clearly should not have been surprised by this. Since I wrote this review, Ryan Reynolds has turned out to be one of my favorite actors for numerous reasons, among them, the fact that he totally crushes it in the role of Deadpool!]
Deadpool and Gambit special effects: A
Daniel Henney as Agent Zero (Maverick): B, unless you expect him to be German, in which case, F
Story (if you don’t expect it to resemble Wolverine’s origin story): D
This script is bad. Like, seriously flawed in fundamental ways.
Story (if you DO expect it to resemble Wolverine’s origin story): F
This script was also clearly written by a team of people who really knew nothing about Wolverine.
Dialogue: D
Dialogue: D
Almost 100% cliches. Seriously, how does someone write something like this and go, "Yeah, this is ready for production"?
Gambit’s dialogue: Completely intelligible, so F
Gambit should have needed subtitles. The fact that he could be understood without them was another sign that the screenwriters knew nothing.
Introduction of a hybrid super-mutant who is controlled by a computer: F
Introduction of a hybrid super-mutant who is controlled by a computer: F
More WTF-ery
The ability to give mutants other mutant powers by injecting them with other mutant DNA: F
Stupid.
Introduction of Kayla Silverfox, who is apparently supposed to be the love of Logan’s life: F
Poorly executed (no pun intended).
Adamantium bullets that don’t damage adamantium bones but . . . wait for it . . . erase memory: F!
I can't even ... Just ... no.
Final Grade: D
Final Grade: D
The only reason the final grade isn't an F is Hugh Jackman's performance.
What a complete waste of celluloid. I want my 2 hours back.